There is good news for you if you want a pay raise too.

Some substitutes are patient. They prefer to wait until the teacher’s union and the school district hammer out a new contact the calls for a pay hike. This approach works, but you could be waiting a very long time before you see more green in your bank account.

Instead, for those who are not as patient, there is another option. In fact, there are three of them. Each will help to generate more income per day to help offset the costs of paying for your own insurance.

1. Shop Around. Like all other organizations in capitalistic societies, school districts have to compete for the best employees. As such, substitutes will find that a six hour day in one school district may be worth $75, while it could be worth $140 in a neighboring district. Thus, substitutes should sign up to work in multiple school districts, focusing their effort on those that pay the most. Usually, the cost of gas to drive over to the neighboring city will be offset by the increased daily rate.

2. Become a Tutor. Parents are always looking for someone skilled in a particular field to help tutor their children. For as little as an hour a day after school, substitute teachers can make an extra 15-30 dollars tutoring students in various academic subjects. In addition, substitutes can also offer test preparation and consulting services to future SAT and ACT takers. Also, substitutes can promote their services before or after class. Thus, if you tend to substitute at one or two schools often, make some business cards and hand them out to the parents. You will start getting calls in no time.

3. Coach a Sport. Many schools are desperate for good coaches. They will pay over $1000 per season in order to have someone take over a program, especially smaller programs like badminton and field events. In many cases, schools are willing to take a chance on substitute teachers who have some experience with the sport (this includes just being a fan) and give them the top role on a team. Although coaching is a rather large time commitment, it only lasts about four months and it allows you to get more involved with the local community.

See what she did, and why you should not imitate her.

According to the Associated Press, a substitute teacher and a student at Stephenson High School where charged with disorderly conduct after they broke into a fight during class. Carolyn Jones, 52, claims that she had been having problems with the student. Ms. Jones gave an interview to Fox 5, stating the student had repeatedly threatened to pull off her whig. Later, the student attacked her after class. Police say Jones prompted the fight by kicking the student.

There are three things the Ms. Jones could have done to avoid this situation:

1. Give the student a green slip, citing classroom disruption, endangerment, and assault. Once a student makes a threat to the teacher or any other student, it is an automatic green slip. Green slips allow a substitute to get ride of a disruptive student if they do not reform after at least three warnings. With threats, a substitute can automatically send a student out of the class.

2. Take the student aside and offer to listen to their problems. This option is normally better for regular classes where the students tend to be more reasonable. In an in-school suspension (”ISS”) class, the students tend to be hardened and unwilling to compromise–hence their appearance in ISS. Nevertheless, Ms. Jones could have taken the rowdy student aside–in full view of the rest of the class–and quietly asked her to share her problems with Jones (remain in full view so that the student cannot later claim the substitute did something abusive outside of the view of the class). The idea is to respectfully reach out to the student in order to develop some sort of compromise. Usually, even hardened students respond well when a teacher is willing to quietly offer to listen to their problems.

3. Refused to Take an in-school suspension assignment without proper training or the presence of an experienced teacher. ISS classes are not for the faint of heart. These students tend to have emotional, physical, and academic issues that the normal substitute is not trained to handle. Considering these students are on their way to getting suspended because they cannot behave in a normal class, there is no reason for them to behave in an ISS setting. As such, Ms. Jones should have asked for some crisis management training. Alternatively, she should have radioed to office to send another teacher to help settle the class down.

These are just three tips to help other substitutes avoid from becoming the next (infamous) YouTube celebrity. Do not be a Ms. Jones.

Well, why not?

I arrived at school on time and ready to see whether this social studies teacher was my summer crush. I remembered her because we had worked together at Victoria’s Secret (a job experience worthy of its own blog), dated for two months, and then lost touch after each of us returned to our respective universities. I always had a profound respect for her and I was sad that our friendship seemed to just fade away with the summer sun.

My plan to restart our friendship was simple. Upon walking into the classroom, I would check the walls for a staff photo. Every teacher–no matter their age, sex, or marital status–always has a staff photo up on the wall, usually behind their desk. It is something of a badge of honor for teachers. For substitutes, these photos are helpful when one wants to see what a bad (and sometimes good) teacher looks like. If it was her, I reasoned, I could leave her a note at the end of the day with my name and contact information (something I normally do as a professional courtesy anyway).

The plan quickly changed. I walked into what seemed more like a marketplace than a classroom. It turns out Ms. R, whoever she is, also runs the leadership program at the school. As it turned out, this was the last day to buy spring dance tickets, so students were swarming into the class to place last-minute bid orders. After paddling my way up a stream of 7th graders, I enter the room. Across the way sits a teacher processing orders. She is hidden by a gang of students.

Nervousness creeps in. My heart starts to beat with an extra zip. After all, I was only planning to glance at a staff photo, not actually meet her again. Yikes! It had been nearly seven years since we last spoke, so I begin to wonder. Is it really her? What will I say? Will she remember me? What will she say to me? I still cannot see her face but now I am close enough to hear her speak. I stop my approach; it was her.

“Hi, Ms. R,” I begin with a goofy (possibly creepy) smile on my face, “I’m here to sub for you.”

“Oh great! Let me show you where the work is for periods one through four. I have some special instructions for periods five and six . . . ,” She did not even skip a beat. Not one! I figured she was being professional around her students so I played along.

“This all looks pretty simple. I should be able to handle it.” I say.

“Good. In that case, I am off to set up for the dance. Let me know if there are any problems.” She says as she walks out of my life, again.

I am at a loss. It was, in fact, my Ms. R, but she had acted like she did not know me. She could have at least thrown me a lifeline: a wink or a even a quick smile to let me know she remembered me. I did not get anything. Perhaps she was just in a rush and could not stop to reminisce. Perhaps she was upset that I had not called her in years. Was she mad at me? These questions plagued me for the first two periods of the day.

By period three, Ms. R returned to hand me a list of the eighth graders approved for the dance. This was a prep period so we were alone. No need to be professional here. I just smiled and waited to hear her say something about how long it had been since we last spoke. After handing me the list, she asked if there had been any problem with the students. I said, “No,” but I was thinking, “Why not ask about me since I have not seen you in seven years.”

During period four, I noticed something interesting. While taking attendance, I realized that name on the top of the roll sheet was not Ms. R, but Mrs. W. Was Ms. R filling in for someone? Was Mrs. W co-teaching the class? If so, where was she today? I asked a student to clarify the situation for me.

“Mrs. W? That is Ms. R’s married name.”

After picking up my jaw, I realized something. It had been seven years since we last spoke. We only hung out for about two months. Now, Ms. R was Mrs. W. It is clear she had moved on with her life. She was not trying to cover up our friendship or pretend we had not dated. Mrs. W had forgotten me (now, if that is not a blow to someone’s pride, I do not know what is).

With my personal pride shot down, I walked out of the class feeling not-so-bad. Although I did not get to restart an old friendship, I did get to make contact with someone from my past: something most cannot do outside of the rumor mill. She was doing quite well for herself; she was married, had a fine class, and was coaching again (another staff photo). I found myself brimming with pride over her. She had made it.

Good for you, Mrs W. I’m proud of you.

The rumor is the best lesson plans come at the end. Is it true?

“Are you here for Ms. E?” The secretary asks.

“Yes”

“You’ve been saved,” she says, “Ms. E could not go on the field trip because we could not get enough substitutes for the eight grade classes. Instead, I have a spot for you in the sixth grade today. Ms. V’s class is sweet and won’t give you a hard time.”

“And Ms. E’s class?”

“There are not so sweet. Trust me, you’ve been saved.” The secretary reassures me.

The end of the school year means mor field trips–more field trips mean more choices in teaching positions. More teaching positions mean steady work. Steady work is always a good thing, especially when it means you do not have to work in the most challanging classes. It is not that I shy from a good challange, but good classes become bad with the scent of summer in the air. And bad classes, well, you do not want to know what a bad class becomes.

Upon walking into the class, I find the lessons plans. I skim it. “No Language Arts Today” is bolded at the top. “EXTENDED RECESS” is listed twice in all caps. Ms. V also wants to show “Ray” and have the students write a paragraph in their journals, “if time always”. It seems that Ms. V does not expect her sweethearts to do much by way of work with only a week to go before summer.

That is fine with me, I guess.

Instead of teaching, I am babysitting this class for six hours. When I was a student, movie days were a welcome break. We were always gaurenteed to have a non-educational movie that had a least some foul language. Unfortunately, I have grown up. Now, I think movie days are a waste of time. And the foul lanuage? Well, it is still there and it makes me blush.

Ultimately, for an easy babysitting assignment, teach in the last two weeks of school. You will have time to watch movies, read, and write entries for Substitute Guru–like me.

Girls’ P.E. at Light High School sounds good to me. 

Upon arriving, I was told the classes were not only girls but co-ed instead and I breathe a sigh of relief.  Luckily, since I was in charge of a “female” class, another teacher took care of the duties of opening the girls’ locker room, announcing the girls to certain classes, and opening up the gym for me.  All I had to do was “park my behind on a chair” and look out for the kids. 

If you don’t know already, P.E. can be a waste of time.  A normal class period lasts about an hour and it take kids about 10 minutes at the beginning and the end of P.E. and only about 40 minutes or so are for P.E.-related activities.  It was made so much easier because the students were well-behaved and nice.  

Something of interest crossed my mind today.  It looks like handball is the “it” game of the year.  Every P.E. class had at least two games going at once and each group had a different color ball.  I assumed there was one customary blue ball, but I saw a sunny yellow, tennis court green, midnight black, and most suprising, a bright pink.  It was played mostly by the Hispanic male group of the school.  Interesting trend!

No bad stories this time, but probably some in the next few weeks with sunny days ahead and the feeling of laziness is in the air.       

Would they take it seriously?

I really hoped they would as I walked into the classroom. I wondered whether someone would refuse to speak. “What if none of them participate,” I thought. I started to sweat, but it was due to heat, not my insecurities.

It was about 85 degrees inside. Someone must have accidentally turned on the heater yesterday. I mutter something about telling the kids not to touch it and then adjust the settings. Then, the bell rings.

“Mr. John! Mr. John,” A girl calls out my name, fights her way through the stream of students walking into the boiler room, and corners me at the door, “I can’t do the speech because I am too embarrassed.”

“Did you practice last night–” I step to the side and continue, “for 15 minutes in front of the mirror like I told you?”

“Yes,” she says with a curious tone.

“Then you’re giving the speech. But don’t worry,” I lower my voice so only she can hear, “I won’t make you go first.” I smile, she shrugs, and the class begins to complain about the heat.

With the air conditional humming at full blast, I begin to give the instructions. Everyone seems pretty nervous. Ray, a boy who got me to give him a green slip earlier in the week, stands up after I call for volunteers and asks if he can go first. I pick up my jaw watch him confidently stroll up to the front of the class and begins after taking a deep breath.

What follows is nothing short of brilliant. He had good posture, decent hand gestures, some eye contract, and a loud voice. Not bad someone who normally does not take the work seriously. When critiquing him, I was sure to use what I am now calling the Complement Sandwich: start out with a complement, then give constructive criticism, and end with another complement. This approach ensures the student–no matter how amazing or dismal–will always walk away with his confidence intact. Moreover, they will walk away with an idea of how to improve for next time.

After Ray, everyone else saw how non-threatening I was and began to volunteer. Everyone, that is, except for Doe. “I don’t want to go,” Doe defiantly said from the back of the classroom.

“You are the last one, you have to go,” I respond.

“No I don’t,” he reasons, “I’ll just take a zero.”

That set me off. “Doe, that is unacceptable! The rest of the class went up and most of them were scared; that did not stop them. They even ended up having fun even though they were complaining about it yesterday–” I pause, catch my breath and continue, “Look, it is one thing if you try and do a bad job, it happens. It is quite another if you refuse to try at all. Students try. You are not acting like a student so unless you get up there and try, you cannot be in my class. Will you try?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” The rest of the class begins to holler out for him to just try it.

“I need a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. Will you try?”

“I said maybe.”

“Sorry Doe, that is not good enough. I’m sending you to the office.” I did not want to do it, but he had exhibited a terrible attitude all week. If I was his regular teacher, I probably would have taken him aside and asked if he was having any trouble at home. In fact, I should have done so even if I was only a substitute. I thought that by being patient with him–ignoring his bad attitude all week–it would just go away. It did not. Instead, I ended up sending him to the office. Next time, I will make it a point to send him to the counselor first.

After Doe walked out, a student reminded me that Jay was supposed to give his speech on Africa. I had not forgotten, just postponed it. As discussed in Fairly Punishing Childish Bigotry, Jay had made a bigoted comment about Africa and was supposed to give an extra speech about the continent. I invited him to hand in his paper and begin.

“Africa is a very important continent,” Jay started. What followed really inspired me. He not own gave the speech, but he took the time to do some research and organize his thoughts. It was touching to see him put so much work into the assignment. Jay definitely made up for his slip yesterday, and I think he learned his lesson, too. He ended with the following: “Africa is a good place because it has a lot of nice colleges, animals, and parents who really love their kids.”

“Jay, you did a fine job!”

“Thanks Mr. John,” he said with a blush, “but now it is your turn. What college did you go to?”

“I went to UCLA, acutally.”

“What?!” Jay exclaimed, “That is not a bad school! I want to go there. Tell us about it!”

I ended up spending the next ten minutes describing my time at UCLA: the campus, the people, and the classes. Everyone, especially Jay, where spellbound. I told them that if they work hard, they could all go there too. They nodded and kept feeding me questions. They were hooked.

Later, as I walked to my car, I realized today was the first time I had ever captured the entire class’ attention. It gave me a very warm feeling to know that I inspired my students.

It felt amazing.

But what happens when a child innocently exhibits bigotry in the classroom?

Today, I accepted a two-day assignment at my favorite middle school. I had taught this mixed 7th grade social studies and language arts class earlier in the week so I felt confident that the students would respond well to me. Moreover, I distinctly remembered that the lesson plans called for some sort of oral presentation on Friday.

Upon walking into class–expecting everything to go smoothly–I realized the Wednesday substitute had misplaced the lesson plans for the week (gee, thanks!). Some students were receptive, but others were very loud after their field trip to a local junior college. To keep the class moving, I developed an alternative lesson for the students where they would give a speech about their recent field trip.

“Everyone, we are going to do oral presentations.”

There was dead silence for about two seconds. Then the flood gates opened: “No,” the class blurted out in unison, “we never do oral presentations!”

“Today you are.” With that, I wrote a four questions on the board:

1. What did you learn during your field trip to the junior college?
2. How did the field trip change your thoughts on college?
3. Do you want to go to that junior college when you turn 18?
4. If not, where do you want to go and why?

“Copy down these questions. Be sure to skip 8 lines in between the questions. Title the paper, ‘My College Field Trip Reflections’. Put your name and date on the upper-right hand corner of the page. Be sure to think about your answers before answering; that is why I am having you skip lines. It is important you write out your answers and practice answering them out-loud because you cannot take the paper up with you tomorrow.”

Granted, it was a long-winded explanation, but I thought it was clear enough. Too bad the students did not agree. For the next 20 minutes, I had to field questions about everything from the mundane to the ludicrous.

“Do I need to put my last name on here?”

“Do I have to answer question four if I do want to go to the junior college?”

“Do I have to do this if I get sick and lose my voice over night in an accident or something?”

As the administrative questions were answered and the students realized I was not backing down from this assignment, I started to get some personal questions, namely those inquiring which college I had attended. My response was clear and direct, “I went to a bad one.” I implied that I was too ashamed to answer. This sparked one student’s interest even more so he continued asking the same question over and over again, adding, “come on, please tell me,” for effect.

“No, not now. But, if the class does a good job on the presentations tomorrow, I will tell you.” I did not want to tell them because I was planning to give my own presentation. During that time, I would reveal that I attended UCLA. My reasoning for the delay in responding was simple: build expectation and excitement.

Another student refused to back down. “I can’t wait that long; what school did you attend?” I refused to answer for the fourth time, instead opting to merely say I went to a “bad school.” The student then made a very bigoted assumption.

“Bad school? Does that mean you went to college in Africa?

I was livid. I yelled out his name so as to grab the class’ attention. Staring him in the eye with what must have been a fearsome look in my eyes, I growled then said, “Don’t you ever, ever, make that type of assumption about the continent of Africa again! Do you think that Africa is poor, backward, or both? Does that make you think they must have bad schools? Huh?! That was a ridiculous question–and if you don’t know what ‘ridiculous’ means, look it up!”

I may have gotten a little too upset with him. After some reflection, I think his question may have been based on childish assumptions and innocent, yet narrow-minded, thinking. Nevertheless, told him to apologize to the entire class. He did not object. Further, I gave him an extra assignment: to write a paragraph about the continent of Africa and present it to the entire class on Friday. He did not complain; he knew he had messed up.

My response was meant to force the student to learn something positive about Africa, punish him for his comment, and show the class that I would not tolerate any hurtful comments. Children are mean, but they should never be bigoted. Children may grow up to be irreverent, but they must not be allowed to grow up racist. As class ended, I wondered if he would take my extra assignment seriously.

I would soon find out.

1. The class enters the room silently. There was no fuss, no messing around, and no wandering about. These student entered the room, stopped by a lab table to check for handouts, and took their (assigned) seats. They did not stop to ask my name or seek permission to be elsewhere. They waited for me to address them before uttering a word. It seems this teacher has trained her students to enter the classroom as if it were a cathedral. So much for the separation of church and state.

2. No one complains about the assignment. It was as if they actually came to class expecting to work. Go figure! Moreover, my presence as a substitute teacher did not change their attitude. I cannot claim they were excited about the work, but I am confident no one tried to get out of doing it through some lame excuse. It is nice to know that some teachers still insist on their students taking pride in themselves and their work.

3. No one asks to go to the bathroom. Escaping to the bathroom is a great way to kill time and get out of class. Rare is the case where a student has a genuine emergency. No teacher will ever verify the supposed emergency–the best they can do is to forestall the inevitable. Normally, I get three-to-five bathroom requests per period and I have a hard time saying “no.” Today, I got zero requests–for the whole day. This indicates the teacher spends more time teaching then writing bathroom passes. That must make some tree in Brazil quite happy.

4. The students are polite. “Please,” “thank you,” and “have a good day” were coming at me from every direction. For a moment, I thought I was not at a public high school anymore. The students treated their peers and their humble substitute with respect. Usually, students mumble obscenities as they walk around–probably without even noticing it. Today, however, I found myself saying “your welcome” with every paper I passed out. This teacher must put a premium on respect, while expecting her students to do the same.

5. There is absolute silence as the students work. It was hard to believe at first. I explained the work, told them it was an independent activity, and sat down. Then, to my surprise, they did the work, independently, from their own seats–no whispers, no giggles, and without my constant supervision. In fact, I spent the entire day seated at my desk, back toward the class, reading online articles. I did not have to turn around once. Well, that is not true. I had to turn around to remind myself that there were still 24 other people in the room. Simply put, this teacher’s ability to command the respect of the class, even in her absence, was nothing short of remarkable. Thank you, Ms. Y, for being such a great teacher!

It was a beautiful sight.

These girls had come to class everyday expecting to do little to no work. Instead, they spent their time gossiping, teasing the boys, and discussing Mexican heart-throbs. Normally, I would not have bothered to deal with them (in fact I had not in the past) because I thought it would be too much trouble to break up such a tight-knit group. Once they were broken up, I reasoned, they would hiss, scream, and accuse me of murder. Moreover, I did not want to spend the rest of the period taking requests for reunification.

Today, however, I could not deal with their poor attitudes and high-pitched, over-exaggerated laughter. Considering I had to administer a test, it was time to end their relationship.

“Okay, we have a test today. I need everyone to move.”

“No, we don’t have to because Ms. X lets us sit together when we take tests.”

“I am not Ms. X and I said move. Now!” My tone was stern and I refused to take “no” for an answer. I would have threatened them with a trip to the office but they gave way. Each mumbled something crude under their breath as they shuffled away. Some words may have been in Spanish, but their tone made it clear they were not very happy with me. Frankly, I could not care less.

Over the course of the next thirty minutes, the class completed the test and there were (surprisingly) no interruptions. The loudest part of the class had been broken and the rest could now work in peace. Sure, the breakup was messy at first but it was well worth it–for me and the rest of the class. Although I will probably let them sit together next time, I will never again hesitate to break them up. After all, they are better off alone.

It is not the bad students. It is not the long days. No, substitute teaching becomes ugly–almost horrific–when there are no coherent lesson plans. Walking into a class without a lesson plan is like walking into a jungle without bug spray: all you get is a thick swarm buzzing around aimlessly in hissing cloud.

Today, I was given a lesson plan that included the following: “Continue working on writing packet for all classes.” For my first two periods of 7th grade language arts, I was able to find the writing packets they had worked on last week and teach the lesson. Even though I had to spend 20 minutes of class time looking for the packets, passing them out, and convincing the students to continue working even though they had turned them in last week, I still managed to get the students on task.

My problem arose during 3rd period. These students had not been assigned the writing packet last week. Further, there were no extra copies to pass out in order to get them started. Suddenly, I faced a dire situation; I had 27 students with no work to keep them busy.

The class erupted. With no work to pass out, the students assumed it was a free day and became buzzing about the classroom. The noise level was reaching fever pitch, my head started to spin. I could feel the headache develop as my temples began to throb. I had to do something before these children ruined the rest of my day. With no other options available, I started shoving blank pieces of paper into their hands.

“Attention class! I need everyone to take their seats and begin drawing. This is not a free period. I will be collecting these drawings at the end of class. I do not mind if you talk, but keep it low.”

No one heard a word. I had already lost most of them to foolishness and ipods.

“Hey! I mean it everyone! You can either draw in here or take it to the office. Your choice!”

Some started to take their seats. Others continued to test my patience. I had already faced “The Bad” last week so I was in no mood to humor these children. Within the next two minutes, I had four names on the detention list. Normally, it would have calm just a handful of students down. The class was aware, however, that detention meant they could not go on the Wednesday field trip. Thus, everyone took notice when I started putting names on the board.

The class quieted down and began to draw. Although it was never perfectly silent, it did not need to be. It only had to be quiet enough for me to keep my sanity. Although I wish I could have actually taught something, there were no plans and no materials for me. Instead, I gave the students something to do that was more engaging than busy work. I even allowed those students on the detention list to work there way out by cleaning up the room.

By the end of the day, I had a clean classroom, 27 drawings, and my sanity. When there is no lesson plan, it is best to make up a fun activity. Otherwise, you risk more than have a few students getting off task. You risk your mental health.